Randomness Challenge
by Aqua-taco
Summary: Jak falls in love with a boy from Earth and a girl from...another place...Haven City is under control of the sentient squirrels known as the Snathi, and help is found...from an unexpected source... Flames okay. JakOC x2, AU, some naughty words.
1. Josh and Katie

**This is a very silly story challenge by Farae Slayer. Here are the conditions:**

**1) Jak must fall in love with one male OC and one female OC.**

**2) Must be at least 10 chapters.**

**3) Haven City must be conquered by an army of sentient squirrels called the Snathi.**

**4) Vin must become the leader of the Resistance.**

**5) Samos must become a Christian minister and start preaching to everyone, you can make up their reactions.**

**6) Torn must lose his tattoos.**

**7) Haven must be retaken by our heroes, but only after they enlist the aid of a nation of sentient hybrids (like Monkaws or Ottsels, or you could make your own species up. CATDOGS!)**

**8) One of the above mentioned OCs that Jak falls in love with must be from Earth, and the other CANNOT be from Earth, but instead will come from another planet that you make up.**

**9) Jak must dye his hair to a color of your choice. Keira must also dye her hair, again, a color of your choice. Daxter must have his fur temporarily dyed a color of your choice.**

**10) There must be a reference to a PS2, a reference to an Xbox, and a reference to a Gamecube in each chapter.**

**11) An Xbox 360 must self destruct during the story (maybe as a Resistance weapon? ).**

**12) Ashelin must develop a love for Vodka.**

**13) Ashelin and Jinx must have an argument about tastes in alcohol.**

**14) NO CHARACTER DEATHS!**

**Bored, I accepted it, and I won't write it in a silly way. I will write it as though nothing out of the ordinary is happening. Sorry if this isn't what you wanted, Farae.**

Bored, Josh McGregor stared out his open window. The breeze gently blew his dirty blonde hair into his face. Brushing it aside, he let out a sigh. He was stuck. His mom was at work, and since it was summer, Josh was stuck home.

He was a tall boy of sixteen, and had no overly bad qualities. He liked math and French, and had a few friends in different cliques. He liked being different, and was planning on either dying his hair black or shaving it in a buzz cut style to mess with people.

Katie, his little sister, was in her room, playing with her Barbie dolls. He could hear her through the closet that divided their rooms. A few months ago, she'd begged Josh to cut one of the Ken dolls' hair in a Jak like style, and when he did, she took her new Crayola markers and "dyed" it yellow and green. The same happened for Kiera, Ashelin, and Torn; the last two required Josh to draw small blue tattoos on their face.

Six years old, Katie was surprisingly young for a Jak and Daxter fan. She'd watched her brother beat Jak and Daxter, Jak II, and Jak 3, so she knew most of what was needed to know.

Josh stood up and stretched. He needed to get out of the house. Unfortunately, his paranoid mother locked the doors to his and Katie's rooms. They could only get into each other's rooms through the shared closet. Opening his closet door, he called out to his sister.

"Pst! Pst! Katie!" When Katie didn't reply, he pushed his way through the clothes. Brushing away a fuzzy pink scarf, he knocked on his sister's closet door.

"What!" She opened the door, startled to see Josh standing over her.

"I'm outta here. You coming?"

A happy grin appeared on her face. She nodded, and went under her bed to grab her shoes. "Wait up!"

Back in his room, Josh reached behind his bed. There he kept a piece of plywood he used to reach the tree near his window. He leaned out the window, plywood in hand, and placed it on his special "platform limb", a big branch with a flat surface closest to his window. The other end he placed on the window sill. Pointing to himself, Josh said, "I go first."

* * *

After an hour or so of wandering around town, they came back to the house. "Good, Mom's not home." Josh began climbing the tree back to his room. "Hand me the bag."

Katie handed Josh a plastic bag full of candy and various Hostess cakes.

"Okay, now the slushie." She handed him a sour watermelon slushie. To bug her, he took a quick sip through the straw.

"Josh!" Katie began climbing upwards. When she got to Josh, he allowed her to go in first.

Once they were in and the board was back in its place, Josh put the candy under his bed behind some under bed storage boxes.

"Aw, why can't I ever keep the candy in my room?"

"Because I'm sixteen, and I'm more responsible to not eat your candy and leave it in the middle of the room. Here." He handed her a pack of Funny Bones, and she was instantly content. "Let's play Jak and Daxter II!"

"Okay, but it's Jak II."

Josh turned on the PS2, and that's the last thing he remembered before everything went black.

**X-box! Game Cube! There. That's the reference to the consoles! Well...it's not funny yet!**


	2. Welcome to 'Haben' City

**Chapter 2! Hooray! I just wrote this JUST NOW so be nice. Oh, and the forgotten disclaimers from chapter one: Jak II is (c) Naughty Dog, yadda yadda, of course, the challenge is Farae Slayer's etc, anything else is mine, but you all know that. Disclaimers! Puh! ND won't sue me! And I did NOT just knock on wood!**

**Anyway, voila:**

"Josh? Josh? Wake up!" Katie's voice…Katie!

Josh opened his eyes to see his little sister kneeling over him. "What happened? Did I hit my head or something?"

"I dunno, but if you're hallucinatin' or somethin', it's really contagious."

Josh, unsure of what she meant, had to allow himself a chuckle. Whenever Katie had a question, he had an answer, so she had a bigger vocabulary than most six years olds. _How many first graders know the word 'hallucinate'?_ "What do you mean?" He sat up, letting his eyes adjust to the light. "What the-"

"See? See what I mean? I don't think this is a hallucination! Lookit! This is Haben City! We are in our PS2!"

And it _was_ Haven City. Thoroughly confused, Josh got onto his feet. They were somewhere in the slums. Rubbing his head, he wondered aloud, "How did this HAPPEN?" A citizen glanced at him in confusion as he walked by. _Oh man, why didn't I just settle for an x-box? Or maybe a nice little Gamecube..._

"That's not all! Look!" Katie grabbed her ears. They were long and pointy. "I can actually see my ears witout a mirror! Ha ha!" The idea of seeing one's ears without a mirror was too good; she instantly forgot her previously worried state.

"That's cool, but, uh, how'd we get here, and more importantly, HOW do we get BACK HOME?" When overly excited, Josh liked to over-enunciate his words, a fact that got him teased more than once.

Katie was having too much fun. "Oh, puh! Think abowdit! We are in _Haben City_! We can ride a zoomer! We can shoot stuff! _We can go see Jak_!"

"Yeah, but still…I don't think we can just go up to him and say, 'Oh, hey Jak. Yeah. We're in a video game. We know you.' We'd get thrown in an insane asylum! Man, this is like one of those fan fictions…" **(Zing!)**

"What's an asylum?"

"It's a-WATCH OUT!"

"A wha-?"

Josh roughly yanked Katie out of the way of a speeding zoomer in the wrong hover zone.

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"Damn traffic!" Klia yelled to the mass of cars overhead. "See ya, suckers!" She turned her head to look behind her at the hovercars that were previously in front of her. Waving at the disgruntled drivers, she stuck her tongue out and smiled. She faced forward just in time to see a little girl in her path. "Ack!"

"It's a-WATCH OUT!"

"A wha-?"

Klia tried to swerve, but luckily an older boy snatched the girl out of the way.

"Phew." Klia wiped her brow in exaggerated relief. Her relief was short lived, however, because in her little rear-view mirror she saw a Krimzon Guard speeder pull down from the traffic, the driver looking right at her. He clearly wasn't happy. "Oh SH-"

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Josh hung onto Katie even after the zoomer had past. Apparantly unaware of how close she'd come to…well, you know…Katie tried to push him away. "What the heck? Crazy head!" She shook her fist after the zoomer. When the KG cruiser lowered and began a chase, she smiled proudly. "That'll teach her!"

_What a weirdo!_ Josh thought. _Hmm. Her hair was bright pink. I'll have to watch out for her._

**Ha HA! I did it! I put a reference to the game consoles! Anyway, the ruler decided not to work, so deal with the dashes instead.**


	3. The Hunky Blonde Boy

**Here ya go. Another chapter, just written on the same day as the last. I'm on a roll!**

"500 credz! Are you shi- I mean _kidding_ me?"

"No ma'am, I'm not. Now, please observe the safety laws next time you drive. They _are_ laws, you know. Not suggestions. If you'll excuse me…"

The Krimzon Guard got back on his cruiser and drove of.

Klia watched him. Glancing around quickly, she gave him a naughty hand gesture behind his back. She realized too late that the Krimzon Guard had been looking in his rear view mirror; when she looked down at her glowing digi-ticket, it read 650 credz. "Dammit!"

She was thirsty, so she decided to go to the Naughty Ottsel for a drink. She'd never been there before, but she'd heard enough about it to decide it was good. When she walked in, a tall blonde man was arguing with…himself it seemed, because no one else was in sight.

"I seriously don't think so, Dax. It was just a, well, you know, congratulations sort of thing."

"I was watching. That wasn't no congrats!"

"Seriously, though, Dax, it was nothing."

"If by 'nothing' you mean a make-out session, then, yeah, it was nothing."

"Um, excuse me…"

"Make-out session? It was just a kiss!"

"Excuse me…"

"Yeah, just a kiss between friends, right? What the heck do you do with a girlfriend then!"

"EXCUSE ME!" When the blonde turned to face Klia, she immediately regretted raising her voice. He was hot. "Sorry for raising my voice, but I had to get your attention somehow," she quickly explained. Glancing at the counter, she caught sight of a small, orange, weasel like thing grinning at her. "Um, can I have a drink?"

She'd been expecting the blonde to tend to her, but instead, to her shock, the ottsel spoke.

"Sure thing, Toots, sit yourself down." She noticed after a moment that he wasn't looking at her face. "You look surprised! How come?"

Klia bent down to the Ottsel's height. "This place is the Naughty Ottsel, but I didn't know they actually hired Ottsels!"

"Hire Ottsels? I own the place!"

"You're Daxter?"

Daxter placed a hand over his eyes. "Yes, why is that always so hard to figure out?"

Klia looked up at the hunky blonde boy. "But I thought he…"

"No, I'm Jak," the blonde said, obviously holding back his laughs.

Standing upright suddenly, Klia held out her hand. "I'm Klia. Nice to meetcha!" They shook hands.

"Hey, whaddabout me? I'm the owner of this place!"

Klia held out a finger. "Nice to meet you too, Daxter!"

Daxter didn't shake the finger. "Yeah, likewise. What do you want?"

"Whadduya got?"

"Depends. How drunk are you planning on getting?"

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X-box.

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Gamecube.

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PS2.

**I swear I'll get better at adding console references, so bear with my antics for now. Please?**


	4. The leader of the UNDERGROUND!

**Chapire Quatre! Yeah, 2, 3 and 4 in the same day! In case you were really wondering, the time is after Jak II, but before Jak 3. As you'll be able to tell from the chapter, Vin is not dead.**

Eventually it sunk into Katie's head that, unless Josh could find a way out, they'd be stuck in Haven City forever. No more PS2, no more Barbies, no more friends or family…

The little girl had been crying for a while, but her eyes were dry now. Josh had convinced her to make the best of it, using her own logic.

"Kate, we're in Haven City. We can ride a zoomer! We can shoot stuff! We can go see Jak!" She smiled when he said this, knowing he was teasing her. "Look up!"

Katie's eyes followed where her brother pointed, and her mouth fell open in astonishment. "Wow!" Looming high above the city was Baron Praxis's mighty palace. "Oh my GAWD! Can we go up there!"

"What? No! Katie, you have to remember, we're not just playing a game! We're really here, so we gotta act like anybody else would."

"Oh yeah…where are we going, anyway?" The pair had been wandering for some time, and were nearly at the port.

"For now, the port. We'll figure out from there where to go." Josh turned to look at Katie only to see her way far behind, sitting on a curb.

"Can we please take a break?" she called from her seat. "Please? I'm tired!"

"No, we're almost there, just deal with it."

"Josh!" she whined. "My feet hurt!"

"Too bad!"

"Gimme a piggyback ride, please?"

"No way!"

"Please?"

"No!"

"Pweez?"

"Never! There's no way I'm giving you a piggyback ride!"

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"I can't believe I'm giving you a piggyback ride." Josh grumbled.

His little sister patted him on the head. "Oh, don't feel bad, Mom says I'm very 'suasive."

"Oh, be quiet."

Katie giggled. "Giddyup!"

"Stoppit!"

"Nice horse, nice Snuffles…"

"Nice what?"

"Snuffles! I played Harvest Moon on Sarah's Gamecube and named my horse Snuffles!"

"Uh…"

"They have an x-box, too."

"I know. I'm jealous."

"Really?"

"Well, not really right now."

She giggled again. "Hey, we should go to the Underground!"

"No, remember what I told you? You don't ever listen!" Josh laughed.

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Vin was in the Underground Headquarters, waiting for Torn to arrive. He had and important message for Vin.

Ever jittery, Vin wasn't exactly looking forward to hearing Torn's news. "W-what if it's bad news? Maybe the Snathi are attacking. Maybe there are metal heads still alive!" Vin liked to talk to himself. He liked to believe it helped calm his nerves, but everyone else knew it usually just made him more nervous. "Or maybe surviving metal heads are teaming up with the Snathi-"

"Vin!"

"Augh!" Vin clutched his chest in shock. "Don't sneak up on me like that, ya could've KILLED me! Oh, my poor nerves…"

"Sorry. I have important news, but I'll give you a minute to calm down. After a moment, Vin's breath slowed to normal. "Okay, you might want to sit down." Before Torn even finished the last word, Vin had found a chair and was seated. "Okay, as you know, the Snathi squirrels are still in control of the city. Our resistance cannot go one minute without a leader."

"Uh-huh."

"Unfortunately, I've been called to one of Haven City's neighbor cities, Rock City, on an important mission."

"What mission?"

"Never mind my mission, I have a mission for you. Obviously we'll need a replacement leader…"

"Oh, you want me to go find a new leader," Vin started, standing up. "I can do that. Maybe Ashelin, or Jak…"

"Vin, no, you don't understand. I want _you_ to be the leader."

Vin immediately fell back into his seat. "Wha…what? I don't understand…"

"I couldn't pick Ashelin, because when I get back I'd never get my position back, Jak is too cocky, Daxter…well, you can figure it out, and Tess favors Daxter too much. All my other agents are either too inexperienced or wouldn't take the job. You're smart, so why not you?"

"Uh…uh…okay…just…uh…Wh-what mission is so important that you have to leave NOW?"

"It's nothing."

"W-well, I won't take the position unless you tell me."

Torn mumbled something.

"What?"

He mumbled louder, but it was still inaudible.

"What? Speak up?"

"My mother. I have to go see my mother."

Vin was speechless.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up."

"No, that's…uh, not what I expected but, er, it's not…_that_ funny."

"Good. So you'll take the job? I have to go get these tattoos removed; Mummy-I mean, my mother, would kill me if she saw them." Torn quickly shook Vin's hand, and headed towards the door. "Oh, one more thing: keep this until I get back." He tossed Vin his dagger. Vin just barely caught.

When Torn was gone, the power expert sat in silence. Only when it fully sank in did he speak. "I'm the leader of the UNDERGROUND!"

**If you read my very first notes in chapter one, this shouldn't really come as a surprise. But...still! Vin is cool, and I'm happy.**


	5. He's still alive, too? AU!

**If you were confused in the last chapter, this one will be H-E-double hockey sticks.**

Norcra, the Snathi king sat on his throne. It was in the former Baron's palace, where the former Baron's throne had been. It'd been a few weeks since he and his troops had conquered the city. Although there was still unrest amongst the citizens, he knew they would soon become accustomed to his rule.

You might, at this time, be thinking, "Squirrels. The Snathi are squirrels. So what?" You poor, poor fool. The Snathi aren't very large, a few inches taller than an average ottsel. However, they have very sharp teeth and claws, and are always in large numbers. The higher ranking Snathi also have added telekinetic powers. They sprout invisible arms that can grow and lift things, including people. Now do you understand?

King Norcra was slightly smaller than the average Snathi, but twice as powerful telepathically. That was why he was king.

Usually the leader of a Snathi clan was a queen, a female Snathi, and that's how it was before Norcra's reign. Zaleh was large and arrogant, greedy for power. It was because of this Norcra was able to trick her so easily. Slowly he fed her information on how to get more power, a little at a time. All of a sudden he decided to stop. When the queen was on the edge of going insane, he convinced her to declare him heir to the throne.

"I'll tell you the one secret for ultimate power," he whispered in her ear one night, "If I can be king when you're gone."

Of course the queen agreed, thinking she would be in power for years to come. Unfortunately, he didn't tell her the secret after that. After years of begging, Zaleh's sanity slowly diminished, until, one night, she snapped. She was deemed too dangerous to be a queen, and was taken out from her position.

It wasn't such a bad thing, though. Queen Zaleh was a terrible queen. She didn't do what was right for her people; she didn't know how to lead a clan. There was no hesitance in allowing Norcra into office.

Now Norcra was in charge of a huge army that had conquered a city. A big city. Full of humans. He was pretty happy.

The Snathi was quickly pulled from his daydreams when one of his advisors walked in. "King Norcra, the Krimzon Guard Commander is here, as you requested."

He nodded. "Bring him in." He looked up as the KG Commander walked in. "Hello, Erol." **(Holy Crap! Tawt he was DED! OMG!)**

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"Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh!"

"Wha-ha-hat!"

"I'm thiiiirrrrsstty!"

Josh pretended to cry. "Why must you complain so? The more you complain, the…weaker I…become…" He began walking slower, and then sat down on a curb. "Whaddaya want me ta do?"

Katie scoffed. "Get drinks for us!"

"Where!"

"Da Naughty Ottsel, Silly!"

"Do they even sell non-alcohol stuff there? Eh, I guess they must..."

"Hey, lady, you might wanna take it easy, there. That's some pretty strong stuff…" Klia was already swaying on her seat.

"Mind your own beeeezzz-wax, bub… I can handle it just fine… gimme another…"

Jak and Daxter looked at eachother, then back at Klia. Her head was resting on the counter, and her short magenta hair was messy. She tried to talk but her mouth was blocked by the counter.

"What?" Jak and Daxter said at the same time.

Lifting her head, she said, louder this time, "I said, 'How'd the counter get so close!'" She then proceeded to laugh. "Whoo!"

"Uh, are we interrupting something?" Jak looked over to the door, and there stood a teenage boy and a small girl, probably his sister. "My sister's really thirst-"

"Look! Look! It's Jak and Daxter!"

Josh clamped his hand over his sister's mouth. It was Jak and Daxter, but she didn't have to go exclaiming like that.

"See, at least _some_body recognized me, eh Jak?" Daxter said, nudging his friend. "You're too young too drink _most_ of the stuff here, but what do you want?"

Josh was about to open his mouth to ask what they had, when Katie blurted out, "Apple juice!"

There was a quick moment of silence before Daxter spoke again. "Uh…what?"

"Uh…eh…we're from…somewhere else…we're foreigners, so we don't know everything about this place. Do you have water?"

"Yeah…water, pomma fruit juice, yakkow milk, and…uh, stuff she can't drink," he said, pointing to Katie.

"Water will do."

Daxter nodded and held up a finger to indicate he'd be a minute. Hopping off the counter, he walked over to a door. Poking his head inside, he called out, "Tessy, baby, we have any of those water bottles?"

From beyond the door, Josh could hear a muted reply. "Uh…I think we might…hold on a second…" When Josh leaned over the counter to try to peek in the door, he could hear Tess rummaging through things. After a minute, Daxter closed the door and went over to the shelf of glasses and mugs and began shining them.

"Here you go, Daxter-shnookums," Tess said, opening the door. Jak rolled his eyes at the pet-name.

"Set it down there, Tessy, please." Daxter blew a kiss as the door shut.

Behind Daxter's back, Jak made a gagging motion. Katie giggled.

Pouring some of the clear drink into a mug, Daxter looked up. "What?" When he caught site of Jak's face, he scowled. He placed the milk on the counter. "Oh, yeah, like you and Ashelin never-"

"Dax, okay, stop," Jak said nervously.

**So this is how Jak II went down:**

**Erol: he was gonna do that crash thing, but he lived with crazy burns and stuff. He's still very much Erol, only his helmet is missing. Where's Erol's helmet!**

**Torn: He didn't become Commander of the KG, because of Erol not being dead. He's still running the Underground because of the Snathi.**

**Ashelin: Because of Jak, Ashelin isn't next in line to be leader of Haven City. Poor Ashelin. She kissed Jak at the end of Jak II, instead of Jak 3. Oh! Spoiled!**

**Vin: He didn't die. That's all. He went in the warp gate to escape the Metal Heads.**

**That's my Jak II. I luff Erol, and Vin. But not as a couple. Blech.**


End file.
